A gentle note before you read on. This page is about childhood sexual abuse, so please go gently. You can read a little at a time, you can stop, and you can come back whenever you are ready. There is no hurry here. If you need a person right now, help is one phone call away at VictimLinkBC, 1-800-563-0808.

You Are Believed

If you were sexually abused as a child, hear this first, slowly and clearly: it was not your fault. Not then, not now, not ever. You never have to tell details to belong here. You do not have to prove your pain, explain your past, or be further along than you are. You are welcome exactly as you are, and Jesus is not ashamed of you. He is tender toward you, and he holds you close.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
Psalm 34:18 (NIV)

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
Psalm 147:3 (NIV)

You Did Not Know, and It Was Still Wrong

A child often does not know that what is happening is wrong. The person harming them makes it feel normal, ordinary, or like a secret game, and a child trusts the adults around them. A child cannot consent. A child cannot agree to something they do not understand, and a child cannot be responsible for an adult’s choices.

If you did not know, if you did not tell, if you froze, or if you thought it was normal, you carry no blame at all. Freezing is not agreement. Silence is not agreement. Not understanding is not agreement. The wrong was always the adult’s, and the shame was never yours to carry.

For Survivors

You do not have to heal alone, and you do not have to know what to say before you reach out. These doors are here when you are ready. They are confidential, caring, and used to hearing from people who are unsure where to begin.

• VictimLinkBC: call or text 1-800-563-0808, 24 hours, confidential, in 150+ languages. VictimLinkBC connects you to help in your own community.
• Salal Sexual Violence Support Centre: 24-hour crisis line 604-255-6344, toll free 1-877-392-7583.
• BC Society for Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse: 604-682-6482.
• Stopping the Violence counselling programs: free counselling across BC for women who experienced childhood abuse. VictimLinkBC connects you to your local program.
• KUU-US Crisis Line: 1-800-588-8717, an Indigenous-led crisis line in BC.
• Hope for Wellness Helpline: 1-855-242-3310.
• 988: call or text 988 for suicide and crisis help.
• Finding a trauma-informed counsellor: you can search the BC Association of Clinical Counsellors directory for a counsellor who works with trauma and childhood sexual abuse.

When the Wound Becomes a Craving

Childhood violation can later lead to pornography, compulsive sexual behaviour, secrecy, and shame. That is a wound that learned to cope, not the survivor’s sin for being wounded. Healing here is gentle, honest, and possible, one step at a time.

This is a pattern many survivors recognise. A wounded child grows up hungry to feel loved and accepted. Being wanted can feel like being loved. Some survivors let men use them because being chosen feels like affection. Some become the one who seduces first, because starting it feels like control when being used felt like helplessness. And pornography can become its own addiction alongside it. None of that is who you are; it is what the wound taught you to do to feel loved, and Jesus untangles it gently, one honest step at a time.

Recovery doors include a counsellor, Celebrate Recovery, Sex Addicts Anonymous phone and online meetings, and the Faith & Recovery pages on this site.

For Protectors: If a Child Is Being Hurt

If a child is in immediate danger, call 911.

To report child abuse in BC, call 1-800-663-9122. This is the Ministry of Children and Family Development report line, open 24 hours. In BC everyone has a legal duty to report. You do not have to be certain. You do not have to give your name.

Helpline for Children: 1-877-631-8282.

Kids Help Phone: 1-800-668-6868 or text CONNECT to 686868.

If a child tells you

Believe the child. Stay calm. Listen, and do not press for details. Write down the child’s own words. Say it is not their fault. Report the same day.

Sexual Abuse Intervention Program (SAIP) counselling is reached through the report line or a local child and family agency. Foundry BC, for ages 12 to 24, is at foundrybc.ca. For online exploitation, contact Cybertip.ca or call 1-866-658-9022. When a young person’s intimate image has been shared, visit NeedHelpNow.ca.

Take Held With You

Everything here is free. Print them, share them, and put them in the hands of someone who needs them.

Download the Held Guest Speaker Booklet (PDF): for church leaders, recovery centres, and groups.

Download the Held Ministry Guide (PDF): both lanes in full, the safeguarding promise, and the complete resource directory.

Our Promise of Safety

• There is no one-on-one contact between ministry volunteers and minors.
• There is no private messaging with children.
• There are no comments on this page.
• If a message tells us a child is at risk, we answer with the reporting numbers and report where the law requires.
• Forgiveness is never pressured, and forgiveness never means silence or renewed access.
• Held is a ministry, not a counselling service and not a crisis service. The phone numbers above are the crisis doors.

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