If you have come to this page as a grown person, there may still be a small self you carry inside you, the child you once were, who learned far too early to listen for footsteps, to read a room before speaking, to make yourself quiet and small and good in the hope that quiet and small and good would keep you safe. You may be decades past those years, with a home of your own, a kettle of your own, a life you built with your own hands, and still find that certain sounds, certain seasons, certain ordinary Tuesdays can put you right back at that kitchen table. Hear this first, before anything else on this page: what was done to you was wrong, it was never your fault, and it was never, ever caused by the child you were.

Maybe you have come to this page from the other side of the room. Maybe you are the adult watching now: a neighbour, an auntie, a teacher, a family friend, a grandparent, someone who keeps noticing a child who seems frightened, withdrawn, or unlike themselves, and who keeps having an uneasy feeling you cannot quite name. You may have explained that feeling away a dozen times, because the other explanation feels too heavy to hold. This page will not ask you to explain it away. That unease matters, and further down this page you will find clear, ordinary steps for what to do with it.

A gentle note before you read on. This page talks honestly about harm done to children and about what that harm can leave behind in a life, and it may stir your own memories while you read. Read slowly, or read only a little. You can pause here and come back whenever you are ready. This page is not going anywhere, and neither is He. If even reading feels like too much today, scroll to the gentle first steps at the bottom and start there. That is a whole and honest way to use this page. If you are young and something is happening to you that hurts you or frightens you or feels wrong in your body or your heart, please hear this in plain words: it is not your fault, not in any way, and telling a safe adult is a brave and right thing to do. A safe adult might be a teacher, a school counsellor, a nurse, a coach, or another grown person you trust. You deserve to be believed, and you deserve to be safe.

God is not neutral about harm done to children, and neither is this page. Scripture names children as precious to Him, calls adults to defend and rescue the young and the vulnerable, and records Jesus Himself angry at grown people who stood between children and safety. Safety and reporting are not betrayals of family on this page. They are holy action, the kind that love takes when a child needs protecting.

I’ve been there

A hurt child rarely has words for what is happening while it is happening. Children organise their whole small world around the adults in it, the way plants turn toward whatever light is in the room. So a child may grow up believing the fear was normal, the silence was loyalty, and the fault, somehow, was theirs for being too loud, too needy, too much, or not enough. Those beliefs can ride along into adult life like stones carried in a coat pocket for so long that you forget you are the one still carrying them.

Here is what almost nobody said to that child, said now to the adult reading this page: the child you were deserved protection. Full stop. Protection was not a prize for good behaviour, and it was never yours to earn by being quieter, cleverer, or easier to live with. The adults in a child’s life carry the responsibility for a child’s safety. That responsibility belonged to them then, and the weight of what happened belongs with the person who chose the harm, not with the child who lived around it.

The adult you are deserves tenderness too. Tenderness at the kitchen table you sit at now, in the friendships you are learning to trust, in the slow work of sleeping through a whole night. Healing does not ask you to pretend the early years were fine. It makes room to say they were not fine, to grieve the protection that should have covered you, and to receive, a little at a time, the covering that God always wanted for you.

Sit here a while. On this page, you are believed, and the child you were is honoured here.

What God says about children, and about you

David wrote a line that has carried forsaken hearts for centuries, a promise for anyone whose earliest home did not hold them the way a home should:

“Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.” Psalm 27:10, NIV

Receive. The word is a gathering word, the way you gather a child in from the cold at the back door. Where human arms failed or frightened, God’s arms are described as open. Jesus spoke about harm to the young with a seriousness that should settle any doubt about where God stands:

“If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.” Matthew 18:6, NIV

Read that verse the right way round. It is not a threat aimed at the wounded reader. It is the protective anger of Jesus aimed at anyone who harms a little one, spoken by the same Lord who gathered children into His arms. His anger tells the truth about His heart: children matter so much to Him that harming one is among the gravest things a person can do. You were never small in His sight, even when you were small in years.

God also gives the watching adults their marching orders, in words first spoken to people in authority:

“Defend the weak and the fatherless; uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed. Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked.” Psalm 82:3-4, NIV

Defend. Rescue. Those are verbs for neighbours, teachers, family friends, and ordinary church people, not only for professionals. Protecting a child is not interference in God’s eyes. It is obedience. For the grown survivor, Zephaniah speaks to the other end of the story, to what God’s presence feels like when fear finally loosens its grip:

“The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17, NIV

Delight. Singing. The God who defends children with anger also rejoices over His grown children with a song. Both are true at once, and both belong on this page: His protection for the child at risk today, and His delight over the adult who survived yesterday.

“Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.”

Psalm 27:10, NIV

Jesus and the children

There is a short scene in Mark 10 that sits at the very centre of this page, because of what it shows about Jesus. People were bringing little children to Him, the way people carry the dearest things they have, carefully, hopefully, wanting Him to place His hands on them and bless them. The disciples pushed back. Perhaps they thought the children were too small for the King’s time, too noisy for important teaching, too ordinary to matter in a crowded day. They rebuked the people who brought them.

Jesus was indignant. Mark uses that strong word on purpose. The King of heaven was angry, not at the children, never at the children, but at the adults standing between the children and Himself. He told His disciples to let the little children come to Him and not to hinder them, saying that the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Then He did what the disciples had nearly prevented: He took the children in His arms, placed His hands on them, and blessed them, one by one, in no hurry at all.

Hold that scene beside any childhood where an adult became a barrier instead of a bridge. Jesus does not bless the barrier. He moves it aside with His own indignation, gathers the children close, and gives them His full attention and His blessing. That is still His posture. No child is too small for His time. No grown survivor is too far past childhood for those same arms. The blessing He gave that day was not earned by the children being quiet or impressive. It was given because they were children, and He delights to bless children.

Safety first, and healing at an honest pace

This page holds two kinds of readers with two kinds of next steps, so this section travels in two clear lanes. Take the lane that is yours. If both lanes are yours, take the safety lane first, the way you would tend to a child in front of you before tending to a memory inside you.

If a child may be unsafe now. Trust the unease. You do not need certainty, and you do not need proof. Suspicion is enough to act, because assessing what is happening is the work of the child welfare authorities, not yours. In Canada, every adult who suspects that a child is being abused or neglected has a legal duty to report it to the local child welfare authority, in every province and territory. Making that report is not gossip, not interference, and not a betrayal of a family. It is a loving act and a legal duty, and it may be the moment a child’s whole life turns toward safety. Call 911 if a child is in immediate danger. Kids Help Phone can also help, both for a young person reaching out and for an adult who wants advice about a child they are worried about. Please do not investigate the situation yourself, do not confront anyone in a way that could put a child at greater risk, and do not promise a child secrecy you cannot keep. If a child begins to tell you something, listen with calm, believe them, tell them it is not their fault, and tell them honestly that you will need to share what they told you with people whose job is to keep them safe.

For the grown survivor. Healing from a hurt childhood rarely moves in a straight line, and this page will not hand you a deadline for your grief. Some seasons will feel like clearing out a house you have lived in for years, one room at a time, on days when you have the strength for one room only. A counsellor who understands trauma can walk with you at that pace, helping you carry what a child should never have had to carry alone. Tay’s workbook gives this work a gentle name in its Inner Child chapters: learning to speak to the child you were the way Jesus speaks to children, with welcome instead of hindrance, blessing instead of blame. That can be as simple as a sentence said inwardly on a hard day: you were not the problem, little one, and you are safe with me now. Body and spirit both deserve tending in this work, because a hurt childhood is carried in both. Rest, food, friendship, prayer, medical care, and counselling all belong at the same table here. A doctor or a counsellor is not unbelief. Each one is part of how a whole person heals.

If you prayed tonight

If somewhere in this page you whispered a prayer and asked Jesus into your heart, welcome home. That is the beginning of everything. Begin with Jesus will walk with you from here, gently, step by step. Please, let someone know. Tell us through the chat or the prayer desk, so we can celebrate with you and pray for you by name. No one should carry a new beginning alone and unseen.

A prayer for tonight

Lord Jesus, You gathered children into Your arms while grown people tried to send them away, so gather us now. For the child who may be unsafe tonight, be the Defender Psalm 82 describes: raise up neighbours and teachers and family who will notice, believe, and act with courage and love. For the adult who was once that child, meet the small self we still carry with the tenderness that was missing then. Teach our hands to loosen their grip on a fault that was never ours. Sing over us the way Zephaniah promises, until Your delight is louder in us than the old fear ever was. We are Yours, at every age we have ever been. Amen.

Hosanna

Gentle first steps

• If a child is in immediate danger, call 911. Stay as close and as calm as you safely can until help arrives, and tell the responders plainly what you know.
• Kids Help Phone (1-800-668-6868, or text CONNECT to 686868) answers day and night, for young people carrying something they have never said out loud and for adults calling about a child they are worried about.
• In Canada, if you suspect a child is being abused or neglected, contact your local child welfare or child protection authority. You do not need proof, and reporting is your legal duty and a loving act.
• If your body is scaring you tonight — pain, heavy bleeding, fever, or you are not sure what is normal — call 811 anywhere in Canada and a registered nurse will help you, day or night, free and confidential. In Manitoba and Nunavut, call 1-888-315-9257.
• If you are in danger of harming yourself, call or text 988, any time. Reach for a person before anything else.
• Tell one trusted person, in plain words, what you have carried or what you have noticed. One honest sentence is a real step, and it counts even if your voice shakes.
• Write to our prayer desk from the Prayer page. We will pray for you by name if you give one, and everything is held with care.
• The Canadian Centre for Child Protection is a Canadian charity dedicated to the personal safety of children. Its site offers help and resources for survivors and their families, guidance on recognising and responding to concerns about a child, and reporting doors, including Cybertip.ca for concerns about online harm to a child.
• For a counsellor who can walk with you over time: Focus on the Family Canada offers a free one-time phone consultation with their counselling team and a referral to a counsellor near you. The Psychology Today Canada directory lets you search by place and by the kind of help you are looking for, including counsellors who work with trauma and Christian counsellors.

See also: Victims of Abuse · Emotional Abuse · Grief and Bereavement

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